im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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