how do flat chested girls get laid?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
