i just sent this text using only my big toe
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
It was like giving head to a cactus.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
