my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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