I wish I could teleport
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
it hurts more in the daytime
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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