I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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