One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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