Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
