Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
