Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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