stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
