AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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