remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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