I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
