Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Randomize
