i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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