i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
