Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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