my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
