Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
