chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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