its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
