i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
