my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
