lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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