thus making me awesome and them whores
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
