I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
