No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
