i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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