you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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