hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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