sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
