Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
