I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
