I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
high people should be assigned attendants
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
