I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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