Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
