I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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