brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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