Everything about him screamed your future.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
