So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
