can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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