4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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