i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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