They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
