If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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