I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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