That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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