Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
