Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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